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You don't have to explain your self-care process to anyone.

You don't have to explain your self-care process or your self-care needs to anyone. I mean that’s why it’s called self-care, right? But I need to hear this just as much now as it did during my postpartum depression and anxiety phase. You should never feel guilty for taking time for you or doing something that makes you feel more balanced. However, keep in mind that what you want to do with that time might not sound awesome to others. During my PPD+A, nothing made me more anxious than getting a mani/pedi, but that was everyone’s first suggestion on where to go when I could spare a moment from baby. It gave me too much time to worry about Malcolm, too much downtime to think about all the things I was still going to need to do when I got home, or simply remember and focus on how tired I was. I hated spending money on something I saw as unnecessary since I wasn’t working. Then, the guilt for spending unnecessary money got worse and I feel awful and selfish when I left (talk about backfiring!) I’m also super aware that my workout therapy may sound dreadful to some people. For me that was a time to blast music, release endorphins, and NOT THINK about anything else I had to do. I left feeling energized, happy, STRONG, and capable, which wasn’t how I was feeling as a new mom. Your self-care desires may shift, because now I would LOVE to get a mani/pedi every two weeks. Another reason I always say to find your toolbox and use what you need when you need it. I still feel the need to explain my time to everyone, so this is as much of a self-talk as it is a PSA. FIND YOUR THING AND DONT EXPLAIN IT TO ANYONE! If you and your partner need to swap “shifts” so you can each get a little time, do it. If someone offers to help watch your little so you can do something solo (even a long hot shower and full meal alone), take them up on it! I didn’t understand filling my cup when I needed it the most and it definitely could have made those early postpartum days much less depleting.

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